This article was published in The Citizen Newspaper, Tanzania on 17th December 2023.
Tom Robbins, an award-winning American novelist and author of numerous seriocomedies (comedy drama) once said: “Don’t grow up; it’s a trap.” But I say, “Grow up, it’s a task.”
To begin with, this is not at all a critique of parenting, as that would be ‘saying too much.’ It is, however, an examen of the outcome of the choices the society makes or allows in the course of its young people growing up, and the dangers of being carried away by the desire to be overly affectionate and caring.
Short of appropriate limits, raising young people would become a dangerous “all-join” as Nigerians would say; A situation where everything is allowed, to any extent desired by the parts involved, for any reason, anywhere, and at any time. But this is not how life works.
In the world of ideas, childhood and adulthood are far apart, in that one does not automatically suggest the other for most people. But, looking at it carefully and holistically, the two are cabins of a train, they go together. This is why it is necessary to make conscious effort to ensure that the upbringing of our young people is preparatory for their future. We can underline the word ‘their’ in that sentence.
Childhood is essentially a time to not only enjoy being loved and taken care of, but also to learn and internalize such indispensable values of responsible living, such as integrity, dutifulness, kindness, self-respect, patriotism, honesty, and many others.
In teaching these values to young people, as adults, we should not take the duty for granted because they are young people, but even more serious because they are becoming adults. Adulthood and responsibilities are inseparable. The digital picture of responsible adulthood that many young people get exposed to may tend to be different from how it actually is.
Earning a living & Living
One of the greatest legacies a society passes on to its young one is the skills to earn a living, to be productive, and the skills to live with other people. The former would entail teaching young people from their early age why people work, the dignity in working, and how to work smart.
It also entails creating for them possible channels of growth as much as the society can, whether it is through education or through trade. This is highly influenced by the family circle.
Most children from hardworking and industrious parents have higher chances of becoming hardworking as their parents if they are rightly oriented.
On the other hand, the society has a duty to teach its young people how to live. There are many young people who have acquired all the education and wealth in life, except the capacity to live with people. In such a case, the acquired education and wealth loses their value.
Skills to live are gathered better in the course of growing up where one learns from experiences and guidance how to be good to other people. These are hardly acquired later in life when one has already learnt the wrong way.
Learning to live would lead to becoming psychosocially healthy, positive with life: past, present and future, with people, and with oneself, and will manifest in one’s positive contribution to the society.
With capacities and skills to live, one has higher chances of flourishing. Flourishing does not mean becoming a billionaire. It means being a human person with a positive impact in the society.
As society we can observe the current difficulties facing young people. Young people of our times have been described by experts as delicate and with emotional fragility. This is happening all over the world because of the global millennial dynamics and social trends.
Adults with appropriate skills need to step in to help when possible, to guide our young ones. These things are not taught in school.
Locally, there is still a lag in young people maximizing on their passions, and a growing desire for softer hustles with big turnouts. There are many graduates too who are far from deciding what they want to do in life. This is different from being skilled and unemployed, as many young people do not take time to think about what they really want to do in life.
There is a popular song in Tanzania that says this life does not need a lot of seriousness. Yet, the reality remains the same. Life is a serious adventure, it depends on how far we look at as a people. With young people being the future of our nation and society, there is need, to particularly look at the new problems they face which make thriving difficult for them.
We ought to teach young people imagining their life years ahead so that they can think about the choices they make and whether such choices prepare them for the adulthood they desire. The society raises its children to become adults, not to remain children. This means the society desires to have a bigger workforce, a more empowered and self-supporting population, and more people with integrity and values.
