This article was published in The Citizen Newspaper, Tanzania on 5th September 2023.
I recall many years ago when we were asked to remain home whenever our parents went to attend weddings, shows or parties set to be held late evening times or at night. We never revolted or felt bad. We respected the reality that adults have other things which had nothing to do with us as children.
This was not only for our family, it was a norm. Even at local celebrations around the neighbourhood, regardless of whether the celebration was for children or adults as soon as it clocked 6 PM, children had already returned to their homes.
If I were to ask most parents today, the reality is not the same. Children hang around adults for much longer. They sit in the bars with their parents watching football at night, and they are taken along for night parties, for which they are a display of their parents’ love and capacity to spoil their children with expensive clothing and luxurious accessories, braids, electronics, etc.
Children are made to conform to appearances, designs and mannerisms that please parents, not necessarily to look decent or behave as is appropriate to their age.
Children, especially girls, are often made to role-play as their parents’ display of expensive or posh maquillage and cosmetics.
Such appearances are applauded and are made to take precedence.
Mannerism is a different aspect to ponder about. One can see an 8-year-old child, dressed like a spoilt 20-year-old who has lost manners, focus, and hope in life.
This can be perceived in the way they are dressed and carry themselves about.
This is a result of being exposed to a life that is not proper for their age and maturity. In learning, they absorb even the unpleasant things they see and hear.
It is a fact that most parents enjoy the company of their children. However, there is a need to have boundaries regarding the things that children are involved with, especially when it comes to social gatherings.
At many night parties, especially for weddings, birthdays, and others, children dance to entertain adults. This is not new, however, it has taken a different turn. In the past, it was more of a show choreography where children knew their place and delivered just as is appropriate for decent and respectful entertainment. However, the trouble now is that children are made to dance to indecent songs in indecent manners as they see on the internet and on TV.
The judgement of what is ‘decent’ or ‘indecent’ in this context is based on the unbiased conventional cultural judgement regarding the same in relation to age groups of members of the society.
Think of your little girl child of about 8 years of age, being happy and making a public display by flirty dancing, and singing expressively to the song ‘Honey’ by Zuchu – and reiterating these lyrics: ‘Japokuwa namchuna, kang’ang’ana humo humo, honey wangu akinuna, namkatia viuno.’ It does not make a good impression.
I have chosen this as an example because it happened in real life, the video of which was highly disfavoured by online audiences. Children have been exposed to a lot of arrogance, insults, abusive language, sexual picturesque, and abhorrible indecencies that are contained in our music and other forms of audio-visual art. We should not appreciate this as if it were a display of talent.
Just as in their homes, children’s performances in public events need adult supervision. They should not just sing or dance to a song just because they like it; it has to be a song or a choreography that is decent and proper for their age.
While this kind of bongo fleva music affects children all over the linguistic and cultural audiences, in the countryside and outskirts of the cities, there are practices like ‘vigodoro’ dances and others of its kind.
These too are less dignifying, overly sexualized and abusive in their lyrical composition. The dances too, which are often outdoors are extended until night, despite that being dangerous for children, especially girls.
Music is very good for children, but research has established that sexualized music affects children’s future behaviour.
Researchers Aurelio Chao-Fernandez, Rocio Chao-Fernandez and Carmen Lopez-Chao, published their research in October 2020, entitled: ‘Sexism in Lyrics of Children’s Songs in School and Family Environment.’
Among their findings is that children like to listen to current songs, even when the lyrics are not appropriate for their age. Researchers have established that sexualized music diverts the attention of children, making them less imaginative, making them to lose the originality of expression as boys and girls. They add that such exposure also leads to ‘progressive impoverishment of their language.’
Aurelio Chao-Fernandez and his fellows instil that, even when it is naturally expected that children learn the real message of the song, they often do not. They rather internalize the content, which in this case, will affect their future behaviour and perception of values. They admonish that it could lead to a mirror image of the attitudes reflected in those songs in the future.
In simple words, children internalize the new caricature of values and grow up with a lightened sense of the negative side of such behaviour. Allowing them to perform these songs, and sing lyrics like those I mentioned above, in front of approving crowds of adults, and sometimes at odd times, affirms even more solidly to them that it is okay to behave like that.
In his book ‘Nobody Knows My Name’ (1961), an American writer James Baldwin said: ‘Children have been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.’
